The Brain Doubts What The Heart Knows
by lockofcurls
Summary: [Mystic Force] Nick knows he'll just hurt her in the end, but he can't stop his feelings for her. It doesn't help that she won't stop following him, either.


**Disclaimer: **_Do I really need to? _

* * *

"Nick, wait!" 

Nick had hoped that she would just stop following him and calling his name, but after traveling over seventeen blocks he gave up on that dream.

"Nick, please!" Her voice had a pleading tone to it.

"A-at least slow down a bit? Please?"

Nick couldn't help but chuckle a bit at this. He slow down his pace a few notches to allow her to catch her breath. The red ranger was surprised that she had kept up with him. Although, the training they had been going through lately probably helped.

They were a few blocks away from the home he shared with his sister. She had left Nick alone with the house for the next two days. There was a conference in the next town over that she had to attend to. Nick was glad. She had been butting in his so-called "love life" even more than usual lately. It was really starting to piss him off.

"Nick! Nick! Will you just stop and talk to me, please!"

Oh, yeah. He almost forgot about her.

He didn't know what he was going to do about her. Their situation was difficult and complicated. He wanted to be with her, but knew he couldn't. Every past relationship he had up to that point had been disastrous. Either he had to move, or it just didn't work out. He didn't want to ruin the friendship he had with her. She had truly been his first friend in Briarwood. A smile crept upon his face as remember her asking him to stay in Briarwood. She was sweet and looked cute as she started to walk away that day.

"Go home, Maddie."

It had been the first time he had talked to her since they left The Tree, as they dubbed it, just outside of the Rock Porium. She had been so shocked to hear him actually say something to her that she tripped over a part of the sidewalk that had been lifted up by the roots of a tree. Madison landed hard on her knees, scraping them against the cement.

Nick turned around quickly after hearing her yelp.

"Maddie!"

Madison was trying to play it off like it didn't hurt that bad, but Nick could see her eyes glazing over.

"Oh my gosh, Maddie. Are you ok? Look, my place is just another block and a half. We'll go there and get you cleaned up, ok?"

Madison merely nodded, too afraid to talk.

_Good job, Madison, _she scolded herself. _ Well, the bright side is that he finally stopped to talk to you. Hmm, I never noticed how good he smell up close…_

Nick placed her left arm around his neck and his right arm around her waist, ignoring how nice she felt against his body and how well they fit together.

_Calm down, Russell. She's injured, and all you can think about is – no. Don't even repeat it again. Just stop it. And keep it down, down there!_

A few minutes later, Nick and Madison hobbled up the driveway to his sister's house, and threw the door. Nick gently placed Maddie on the couch and squatted

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom really quick and get something to clean you up with. Just sit back and relax, ok?"

Nick jumped up and ran to the bathroom. When he got there, he turned on the facet and looked himself in the mirror.

_You couldn't love her the way she deserves to be loved. You'll only break her heart and ruin the best friendship you've ever had. One of the only ones you've ever had. You're just not good enough._

Nick tried to ignore the thoughts in his head. He swore sometimes that he was harder on himself than Koragg was on him. He splashed some water on his face and rubbed his skin with the palm of his hands.

Nick grabbed the towel behind him and wiped his face really quick. After cleaning his hands, he grabbed a towel and wet it. Then he grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol, some cotton balls, and a band-aid from the shelves above the toilet before heading back to the living room.

When he got back, he could hear Maddie crying quietly from the couch. Nick looked at her and saw that her shoulders were shaking. A small noise came out of her.

She raised her hand to her mouth to help keep her sobbing quiet.

She knew following him was a stupid idea, but she did it anyways. She figured he would have told her to leave him alone blocks ago. Maddie couldn't leave him. She wouldn't.

And now here she was, having a breakdown on his couch.

_He'll probably think I'm this big super wimp or something for crying over a stupid scrap on my knees!_

A small sob escaped her lips. She quickly placed a hand over her mouth to help keep her quiet.

Nick could feel his heart sink into his toes. He knew why she was crying. It was his fault. Nick walked over to Madison. He bent down in front of her and started to clean her knee. He refused to make eye contact with her, though. It was bad enough hearing her heart break, he didn't want the visuals to go along with it.

"I'm going to clean your knees up a bit. It's gonna sting a little, but I promise to be a gentle as I can."

"Ok."

Nick almost didn't hear her response. It had been barely a whisper, but he didn't expect much. Slowly, he brought the towel to her knee to start wiping away blood and dirt. Maddie flinch a little bit, but soon got used to the warm, wet fabric against her broken skin.

Nick was shaking so much that he couldn't tell if it was because of Madison, or if Madison was shaking because of him. Her crying had calmed down since he sat in front of her. He cared about Maddie more than he had cared for anyone. She was _his_ Maddie.

"I'm going to put alcohol on it. It's gonna hurt a lot, I'm not going to lie and tell you it won't. I won't break my promise yet though." Nick didn't notice his voice wavering. He raised a shaky hand to her knee again, this time armed with a damp cotton ball. He took in a deep breath and slowly brought the cotton ball down upon the wound. She didn't even flinch. He applied a little more pressure each time, but managed to keep his feather-light touches.

He wants her to be all his, and he all hers. He wanted to be able to love her the way she deserved to be loved. He wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be alright. That nothing and nobody would come in between them. That he would never leave her again.

But he couldn't promise those things to her. He knew he couldn't. No move was permanent, and in war, nothing was a guarantee. He wasn't psychic. He didn't know what life had in plan for him.

A drop of water fell on his hand, and it was at that moment that he realized he had began to cry. They came a little bit more at a time at him. His tears were free-falling down his tanned cheeks. He didn't try to wipe them away. He wanted to finish fixing Maddie before he worried about himself.

He grabbed the flexible band-aids and placed them on both of her knees. He placed his fingers on either side of her knee, rubbing his thumb over the edges of one before moving to the next. Left to right. He kept his fingers there longer on her right knee. The pads of his thumbs continually going over the blur he assumed to be the band-aid. Slowly, he brought his lips to her knee and placed a kiss on it.

Nick rested his forehead against her knee. He could no longer hold his tears back. Tears left unshed over the various troubles in and of his past that prevented him from being with the girl he now realized he was in love with.

Maddie didn't know what to do. One minute, Nick seemed fine as he was cleaning her up from her accident. Next thing she knows, he's kissing her knee and crying with her. Maddie brought her clean hand down to rub the back of Nick's head. She could feel his hot tears trickling down her leg.

She pushed his shoulders so that he was once again sitting upright and got down to kneel on the floor in front of him.

That plan would have worked romantically if it hadn't been for her battle wounds.

Maddie yelped in pain. Nick started to reach his hands out to help her up, but she put her hands up in protest. She tucked her legs next to her and scooted close enough to Nick, so that their knees were almost touching. Maddie fisted the collar to Nick's jacket and shook her head before dropping her head to his chest and began crying again.

Nick let his emotions ride him for a moment more. He grabbed Maddie by the shoulders and held her upright.

She stared into his eyes. Her brown ones bore into his he pleas, her worries, and her hopes. Nick couldn't take it anymore. He was broken down and exposed. So, he did what felt was best.

He kissed her.

He made sure she felt his love for her, and that she would know that he shared the same thoughts she did. Slowly, he pressed his tongue against her lips, hesitant that she'll object. She welcomed him with her own tongue. They sat there on the floor for what seemed like hours, but must have been only a matter of minutes, clinging to each other.

Nick cupped her face in his hands. Maddie tightened her grip on his jacket.

When they parted, their heads rested against each other, both trying to catch their breath. Nick rubbed her face with his thumbs. He moved his head so he could whisper in her ear something he could have only told her, and no one else.

"I love you."

Maddie moved to capture his lips in a gentle kiss.

"I love you, too," she said against his lips.

Nick smiled and kissed her again. They parted once more and placed there heads against each other again.

Maddie grabbed one of his hands and held it against her chest. She placed her free hand against his chest.

Looking him dead in the eye, she told him, "Even though it's nice to hear it, I don't think it had to be said. We always knew. Here, in our hearts. We always knew."

Nick nodded his head.

"Yeah, we did."

He brought his free hand to cup her face, and kissed her.

Nick didn't know what was going to happen to him or Maddie in the next few months, but he knew that no matter what would happen, they would face it together.


End file.
